Actually posted this on my own blog, but I think too harsh, scarely tio caught :P hehe Im taking refuge here


A nightmare you cannot wake up from...... just on thursday night, a close friend asked me to describe what "home sickness" felt like ..... and that was my answer. I have left home for only like one freaking week, and already I am feeling that....

My job now is a freaking day to day affair... I put in charge of making sure that customers get their samples and on time, which requires daily following up, that to me is alright, but theres is anohter freaking assignment... like fark lar, whats up with company's wanting to make nice their introductory powerpoints... they want me to make something like a video or what, to replace their supposedly boring powerpoint presentation (I haven't really seen it yet), like Im not a film and media studies student yar..... and you want me to add in animations and videos... damn sian TOTALLY...

Anyways, being in the OIAP programme, I have learnt to appreciate the little pleasures of life. Why I say this is a nightmare I cannot get out of. Obviously, other then on the weekends, my life seems boring and sad, I go to work early in the morning, finish at 530 AND if I am in the mood, i can walk around somewhere, though given that this place is not really modern... there isn't really much nice places to go to. If not, I will return "home"... at home, its either reading a book (How to manage stress, thanks to SJH) or watching some movie... and goddamn.... the food.... THE FOOD... the canteen food sux! but i guess its just cause Im spoilt or what ba.... if the managers can eat it so can I ...... so like llooking forward to lunch menu (like what i did on somedays in OITP is not an option....

Little pleasures like interacting with people (GIRLS!) the same age or closer to my age and to my thinking I really miss... I mean, think about it. Even subtle flirting or joking to friends, I can no longer as and when I like... I miss looking at you all (not in a gay sense for the guys) and I miss the sound of your voices... HOW FARKING much I would really like to see, smell, hear, touch you all .... Gawd damnnit... Ive like flipped through the pictures a dozen times.. but all pictures really are are just static... I really understand the true value of friends in times like this... I have totally no regret, meeting up with my old classmates at MS that day although I did not eat. I even did not regret spending time with the ppl at comex, even if it was for just 30mins to watch them eat their dinners. Its in times like this that I really understand what it means by (what matters is the company you are with, not the things you do).

Im like basically living day by day now, I do put in utmost effort in my work, however, its has now become a routine, just like school. However, in school you have got friends who think AND speak on similar wavelengths, here I don't. I can't like sae "CCB" or go f*** yourself, or go like "hey, that girl chio anot"..... those really ARE little pleasures which I neglected :P.... (don't get me wrong, I never neglect me friends, "or did I"?)... Anyway, I managed to successfully meet xian liang today (hahas last time when I was in shen zhen, we nearly met, but failed :P) but thats another post and with the pictures. I look forward to meeting da jie if possible, and perhaps my OITP buddy over the china national day holidays.

Everybody feels the same way I feel, the grass probably always looks greener on the other side, but I guess its what we do NOW that means anything at all...